


Cold Feet

by startrekkingaroundasgard



Series: 25 days of ficmas [14]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Cold Feet, F/M, Inspired by A Christmas Carol, Winter wedding, except without the illness and death, it's a lot more fluffy, pre wedding worries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 02:33:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16986486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/startrekkingaroundasgard/pseuds/startrekkingaroundasgard
Summary: On their wedding day, the reader is nervous about going through with the wedding. However as the ghosts of Christmas visit her in the form of fallen friend, she soon realises that this is exactly what she wants.





	Cold Feet

Today was supposed to be the best day of your life. That’s what everyone said. A perfect fairytale ending. To anyone looking on, that’s what they’d see. They’d see your beautiful dress, covered in tiny, twinkling crystals collected from across the realms and painstakingly sewn onto the finest silk in the kingdom.

You stared at the smile carefully painted on your face. Stroke by stroke, layer by layer. A shield to hide your true feelings from the rest of the world. Such a beautiful lie, constructed so well that you could hardly tell the difference between reality and fiction. You looked happy and that was all that they would see.

Golden bracelets hung around your wrists; gifts from Frigga herself, charmed by the greatest healers in the kingdom to bless your marriage with health and vitality. However they were cold and heavy on your skin, weighing you down like shackles in a prison. Tying you to the palace for the rest of eternity, with its inescapable hatred and suspicion.

The only light in the darkness was Loki. He was your love, your other heart. Everything you had always wanted and needed rolled up into one glorious man. His love for you, and yours for him, was as pure as the distant stars in the sky, burning just as hot and just as brightly. Marrying Loki was a dream come true but you couldn’t shake the fear that this would end in disaster.

You’d spent your entire life hanging around the court. You knew first hand how it could destroy everything. Even a relationship with the strongest foundations of love and trust could be shattered by the social and political minefield within these golden walls. This was far from the palaces of old, where truth and beauty reigned free; now it was a vile cesspit, ruled by those who cared only for power and nothing else.

The thought of spending the rest of your life here terrified you. Living here had changed you already. You were more jaded, cautious about what you said, and to who, incase some power hungry backstabber twisted your words against you. The nobles of the court were demons in disguise and you feared waking up one day to see yourself become one of them without ever realising.

“They always have been rather horrible to us, weren’t they?” Ashildr said, perching herself on the edge of your desk. Her feet barely touched the ground as she swung her legs like an excitable child. She had never been tall in life; you didn’t know why you expected her to look any different in death. Her skin was radiant, glowing from the victorious afterlife, and you honestly thoughts she’d never looked better.

She reached out and cupped your face, a warm tingle spreading through your cheek wherever she touched. Her ghostly form tried to wipe away your tears but her fingers passed straight through. “You’re surprised? Surely you did not believe that such a little thing as dying would make me miss your wedding day?”

Taking comfort from the nonexistent weight of her hand on your knee, you wiped your eyes with the back of your hand. You knew that your tears had ruined your carefully applied mask of makeup but you were more concerned by the appearance of your best friend. Not a lot could draw a person’s spirit from Valhalla. There was definitely more to her presence here than a simple desire to hear you speak your vows. “Why are you here, Ash?”

“Still as upfront as ever, I see,” she said teasingly. “Why, I am here to talk some sense into you. Like always. You love Loki, don’t you?”

“Of course,” you answered immediately. There was no question in your mind about that.

“Then why the concern about the wedding?”

“You know why. The court is a vipers’ nest. They will never let me have peace here.”

“That may be true,” Ashildr agreed, taking you by surprise. She had never been one to agree lightly. It normally took months of fighting for her to concede the smallest of things. Her hands came to rest above yours, whacking them gently as you fiddled with the silky soft material of your skirt. “Stop that. You’ll ruin it. Now listen here, friend. The prince has always protected you from the worst of the court. Or can you not remember how you met?”

Before you could answer, the air rippled around you and you suddenly found yourself in the palace gardens. That wasn’t the weird part, though; after all, teleporting was a regular part of your magic lessons. No. Like watching some kind of dream, you were staring at younger versions of you and Ashildr. But this was no fiction. This was a memory, playing out before your eyes like theatre. You would remember this day until you died, and probably after that too.

Your younger selves were walking through the gardens, enjoying the fresh spring weather. All the flowers were beginning to bloom and the air was sweet with their scent, just on the right side of being overwhelming. You held out your hand, the space around it shimmering orange as you called on your magic, demonstrating your new tricks to Ashildr.

There was a blinding flash of orange-pink light and you and Ashildr ended up on the floor, your skin shining like diamonds in the morning light. Not what you’d been aiming to do at all, but a pleasant surprise nonetheless. Laughing so hard that you almost certainly woke the entire east wing of the palace, you both rolled over on to your backs and stared up at the sky as you waited in peace for the spell to wear off.

Or it would have been in peace if not for an unwelcome interruption by a group of older nobles. They hovered over you like a swarm of vultures, their shadows casting a cold darkness over your faces. You’d never understood why they treated you and Ashildr like dirt on their boots. You were all of noble families. You all had the same education. The only thing that differentiated you from them was the fact that you and Ashildr were decent people.

“The wannabe warrior and her fairy girlfriend. How sweet. Fitting to find you this way,” one of the noblemen sneered, kicking your crystallised arm. It hurt him more than it did you but you curled your body around your arm protectively anyway. “Laying on the ground and at our feet where you belong.”

“Leave us before I make you,” Ashildr said, on her feet with a dagger in her hand in the blink of an eye. There was a definite air of danger around her but it was diminished somewhat by the fact she looked like more like a porcelain doll than an actual member of Asgard’s army.

“Oh, look. The toy soldier is getting her breaches in a twist,” another nobleman teased. He shoved Ashildr’s shoulder so hard that she stumbled backwards and tripped over you, ending up in am ungraceful - and heavy - heap on your chest.

All but growling at the men, Ashildr pulled you up to your feet and tightened her grip on her dagger. It was all you could do to link your arm with hers just to stop her from doing something dangerous. “You will regret doing that.”

The largest man, a brute who had spent the last century or more making you feel absolutely worthless, scoffed at Ashildr’s threat. “Because I am terrified of a grown woman who spends her time studying magic tricks and keeps company with a soldier whose weapon is larger than she is.”

“Magic is not just a fascination of children! There are practical applications which would be far more beneficial in a war than simply rampaging your way through a city like an uncivilised brute!” you argued, almost tiredly. This was a debate you had had with the noblemen and women of the court more times than you could count. Never had you won.

“Please! It is the folly of the weak to explore such pointless arts.”

“Say that again and I’ll -”

The largest nobleman cut you off with a harsh laugh. “Try, little girl. I’ll show you both what a real warrior can do.”

“You will do no such thing,” a new voice said from behind. The noblemen turned, huffing in annoyance as they went to see who had interrupted their ‘fun’. When they saw who they were up against, they immediately backed down.

“Prince Loki, sire!” they grovelled, falling to their knees. They were almost fighting over who could catch his hand and kiss his knuckles, or who had the honour of licking his boots.

It was disgusting how quickly they changed their faces when there was a possibility of their status being threatened. The prince obviously agreed, rolling his eyes and waving them away without a second thought. Ignoring their confused and angry protests that they were worth his time more than you or Ashildr, the prince linked his arms with yours and said softly, “My dear ladies, would you grace me with your company for a short walk?”

You were so surprised by his offer - and how genuine he sounded in his interest - that you simply nodded and let him lead you away. You’d barely turned the corner when Ashildr excused herself (not before winking and giving you an eager thumbs up) leaving you and the prince alone.

A comfortable silence hung over you as you walked. Eventually, though, you felt the need to speak. “While I must thank you for coming to our aid, my prince, I fear that it will achieve little. Those men have been tormenting Ashildr and I for centuries. I am certain that once you are no longer around that they will revert to their natural state.”

“In that case, I need simply never leave your side again. And please, call me Loki. I care not for my title.”

“Loki,” you murmured, the name feeling right on your lips. You knew then that you would never tire of saying it but immediately chastised yourself for being so presumptuous. Shaking your head, you bowed your head and said, “You should not promise such a thing.”

“Why ever not?” he asked, spinning on his heels and stopping in front of you. You crashed into his chest and when you went to back away he wrapped his arms around your waist to keep you in place. “I may be many things but I am not a liar. No, that’s not true. I lie all the time. But I never go back on my word. And let me tell you, darling, that is a promise I intend to keep.”

Giving you no time to mull over the enormity of his words, Loki lightly grabbed your wrist and traced the lines of your veins all the way up your arm. You couldn’t really feel it - the crystallising effect of your spell gone wrong still affecting you - but the look in his eyes made your insides do somersaults.

Loki looked at you like you were some kind of goddess, a beautiful and mysterious puzzle which he had every intention of solving. Beneath that, though, was something more primal. Pure heat and desire. He wanted you and the fact that he made no show of hiding it brought an intense heat to your cheeks as you struggled to stop yourself from thinking along the same lines.

He lifted your hand to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on your knuckles. With a green shimmer, his magic overpowered yours and the crystallising effect began to fade away until you were back to mere flesh and bone. “All better. That’s advanced magic you were attempting.”

“I wouldn’t know. According to the noblemen of the court, magic is for children.”

“They are wrong. You should not let the opinions of the ignorant weigh you down. Listen to those of us who know of what we speak. Magic is a skill. An art form. To wield it requires a focused mind and a strong will. Those are far more noble qualities than being able to smack someone around the head with a log, wouldn’t you say?” 

“That depends on whether or not you are the one being smacked.”

“Perhaps…” Loki’s gaze fluttered to the ground, his body tensing against yours nervously. His fingers dug into your back, clinging on to you as if her were scared to let you go. “You may allow me to tutor you in magic? So that you need never worry about being hit again.”

“Really, that is far too kind an offer…”

“It’d be my pleasure,” he insisted. “Indeed, I have another request. If you would permit me. I would like it very much if you would join me dinner tonight.”

You shook your head in disbelief. This really wasn’t how you had intended the day to go. “Now, that really is too kind an offer.”

“My dear, I really must insist. You see, I wish very much to kiss you but the rules of chivalry are clear in that I cannot do so until we have shared at least a meal.” A smirk on his face, a mischievous glint in his eyes, Loki’s gaze dropped to your lips. “And the last thing I want to do is besmirch your honour.”

A loud knocking pulled you from the memory. It wasn’t a sharp jolt as you’d imagined, rather a gentle transition back to your room. Like waking from a dream. As always, just before it got to the good part. You remembered very clearly how that night had ended and it had been with something far better than dessert and considerably more than just a kiss.

Ashildr kissed your temple with a smile. “Loki has protected you from that first day. He will continue to do so until your final days. But anyway, now that you have seen the past, why don’t you open the door as take a look at the present.”

You reluctantly did as your friend suggested and opened the door just enough to see who was interrupting you. “Thor!” you exclaimed, stepping backwards to let the older prince in. He wrapped his thick arms around you, careful not to snag his armour on your dress, before finally setting you down once again. Smoothing your skirt out, you asked, “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I came to check on you. Word around the palace is that you sent away all of your handmaidens and are hiding alone in your room.” Looking around at the empty space, Thor patted your shoulder and guided you over to the bench beside the window. “It appears that the rumours are true. Tell me, sister to be. What is on your mind?”

“It’s nothing,” you insisted, trying desperately to ignore Ashildr’s disapproving gaze.

“You know, there were those that feared you spending so much time with Loki would make you a better liar. Clearly they were wrong. Come now. You can speak freely with me. You love my brother, do you not?”

Repeating what you had told Ashildr, with the exact same certainty, you answered, “Of course. More than anything.”

“Then why do you look as scared as if you’d seen a ghost?”

You let out a laugh but even to your ears it was hollow. “You’d never believe me if I told you.”

Thor smiled and squeezed your arm. As if seeing you for the first time, he suddenly realised how much of a mess your makeup was. He jumped up from the bench and grabbed a cloth from your vanity for you to wipe your face clean. The prince then grabbed your makeup pots and set them down on the bench beside him.

“Close your eyes,” he said. It was clearly more of a command than a request so you did as he asked. A second later, you felt the soft hairs of the brush against your skin and heard Thor’s hearty laugh. “Worry not, sister of mine. As a child, the maidens taught me how to apply such delicate war paint. You are safe in my hands.”

“Loki is scared too, you know,” Thor said, some time later. He was focused on painting your lips with rouge but you could tell this was the true reason he had sought you out. These were words he had practised many times. They were too careful. Too precise. “He has never been one to wear his emotions plainly for all to see. Around you, though, his walls do not exist. My brother has never been so happy as when he is with you.”

“I feel the same way,” you said, although the words came out in a bit of a mumble as you tried to speak without moving your lips. Your gaze focused on the little crumple between his eyebrows, you asked, “What is it, Thor?”

“I understand that you are worried about cementing a life here at the palace. It will not always be easy but you will have Loki - and I - to protect you wherever we can. Naturally, I will have no choice but to respect your decision if you choose not to go through with this wedding but know that if you do that you will break Loki’s heart. As much as I love you, sister to be, I will always protect my brother first.”

“He’s a good brother, isn’t he?” Ashildr said. Thor was blissfully unaware of how she was resting her chin on his shoulder, a sad smile on her face. She had always had a crush on Thor and you knew she regretted never seeking him out, even if only for friendship. In a way, you were glad; they would have been menaces together, especially if Sif had joined the party. It had been safer for Asgard that they stayed apart but you had long suspected it was one of the few regrets that Ashildr carried over to Valhalla.

Playing with his long blond hair, she jumped back when he suddenly turned around and stared right where she was sitting. Pointedly ignoring the way that Thor was looking between you and where her ghost sat, Ashildr said, “You need to fully commit to this or you will hurt a lot of people. I know you are scared but can’t you see how lucky you are to have the princes protecting you? And you know that they would never let anything happen to you. My dear friend, you cannot spend your life in fear of what might happen. The court is cruel but you can - and will - have a beautiful life here. If it will convince you, I can show you what lies in your future but then you must set your heart on a path.”

You nodded and she reached out to take your hand. The world lurched and thousands of images flooded your mind. They moved so quickly that you could hardly focus on them. The future was unpredictable and ever changing but there were some scenes that repeated over and over, no matter which future became truth.

You and Loki lay by a fire, wrapped in fur as a vicious winter storm raged outside. The smell of burning wood was intoxicating and made you feel heady. He traced his fingers over your skin in lazy, swirling patterns, sending shivers up your spine. You met every needy kiss with a hungry neediness of your own. Overflowing with desire, you flipped him over and took what he was more than willing to give.

That scene faded away and another took its place. Loki was sat by the window, staring out across the gardens. The tune he hummed filled the room and was joined by a steady accompaniment of a baby’s snore. The prince looked over his shoulder towards you, tired but overflowing with love for you and your son.

Another vision saw you and Loki in the palace gardens, watching on as your children chased their uncle around the shrubbery. They were waving around tiny, blunt daggers, pretending to slay the monsters that plagued the realms. Your eldest rolled his eyes at his siblings and guided his horse out towards the forest to go for a ride with his friends - but not before a flash of purple had Thor tripping over his own feet after he laces had been magically tied together.

Hundreds more moments flashed before your eyes until it became too much to bear. Some showed arguments and fights but beneath every image was an undeniable love between you and Loki. As your family grew, so did your love for one another. It remained strong until the very end of days no matter what the universe tried to throw your way.

Eventually you came back to yourself in the palace, sat next to an incredibly confused looking Thor. He’d been trying to get your attention for the last minute but to no avail. When your focus returned, he let out a deep sigh of relief to see that you hadn’t lost your mind.

You blinked a few times, part wondering what he had asked but more concerned by the fact that Ashildr was gone. Her message remained, though, and you had never been more certain of yourself. Nothing, especially not fear, would stop you from marrying the man you loved. Thanking Thor for his help, surprised by just how great a job he had actually done on your makeup, you shooed him away so that you could see to the final preparations.

***

Snow covered the ground, crunching beneath your boots as you walked. You could see your breath on the air but the thick, fur cloak around your shoulders protected you from the icy bite of the wind. The snowflakes which landed in your hair sparkled like the crystals on your dress. You looked beautiful, like a queen of old in your bridal crown.

Nobody could take their eyes off of you but all that mattered to you was the way Loki’s breath caught in his throat. His jaw visibly dropped and you were certain that that was the glimmer of tears in his eyes. Thor rested his hand on his brother’s shoulder and squeezed tightly.

Odin delivered what you assumed was an incredibly moving speech about marriage, family and duty but his words went straight over your head. You spent the entire time stealing glances at your husband to be, not so subtly admiring the way that his armour clung to his body. More than that, though, you simply couldn’t tear yourself away from his adoring gaze. You never wanted that hope and respect and love to fade. Knowing that it was all for you made you feel heady. It was like a drug, taking you to a whole other beautiful plane of existence where only you and Loki resided.

When the time came for Loki to present you with his ancestral sword - a symbol of joining his family with yours, swearing to protect your line until he died - you felt your heart quicken in your chest. Not with fear, though. Excitement. Joy so overwhelming that you thought you may burst.

You gladly accepted the sword, to a thunderous round of cheers from the guests, before Thor took it back and carefully balanced two golden rings on the hilt. Loki picked up the smaller band and lifted your hand, pausing before he slipped the ring on to your finger. “Are you sure about this, my love? This is what you truly desire?”

“I cannot imagine another day without you by my side. This is exactly what I want. To spend my eternity with you, my heart. My beautiful prince.” You nodded, a smile erupting on your face as the cool metal touched your skin. Fiddling with his ring, you whispered, “Are you sure?”

“My darling, I have never been more sure about anything in my entire life. I will protect you from danger, no matter how large or small. Know that no harm will come to you for as long as I shall live.”

The moment the golden band touched his pale finger, the congregation burst into another round of cheers and congratulations. Songs were sung. Enough food to sink a thousand ships was consumed, and twice as much mead on the top of that. There were even reports of people seeing ghosts of fallen warriors, returned from Valhalla to join the festivities. The celebrations lasted for eight glorious days until the guests could neither eat nor party any more.

It went down as one of the greatest feasts in the history of Asgard, though that did not matter to you. All that mattered was that you and Loki were together, joined in beautiful marriage, to love one another for evermore. And by the Norns you did. You most certainly did.


End file.
